Driving in Queensland

At our latest informal curry club venture, we were reminiscing about our experiences driving around Queensland. Incidentally, don't bother with the new Indian restaurant on Hastings Street, Noosa. I don't know what part of the sub continent they think they're from, but someone should tell them that a madras is different from a korma. Distinctly pants.

When I finally got round to registering my NSW plated car in Queensland, I had to register myself too, as a 'new customer', as I hadn't owned a car in QLD before. The lady behind the counter was, like most aussies, friendly and chatty. She humoured me by letting me have a quick whinge about Jim, my automotive ebay purchase. So named after Jim Morrison because, within the first 2 weeks of owning him, all the bloody doors were f***ed. "Bit of a limon is he?" she asked sympathetically. Yep. Why, only this week I've forked out another $200 on lubricants, spanners and windscreen wipers.

Which accounts for why all the speeding tickets I have accrued have been in Bertha - Dave's enormous Fordamundo. A big 4 litre beast of a car known fondly by this nickname because that's what you do when you drive her into a parking space. This 1992 Ford Fairlane also goes like stink, surprisingly. But with her missing trim and forlorn looking bonnet ornament (which Dave would like everyone to believe is really a James Bond-esque gun sight), she is a little embarrassing to be seen in, particularly in the cold light of a speed camera photo.

If you are usually a speedy driver then things you need to be aware of in Queensland are that (a) Queensland police never let you off (they have a quota to fulfill) (b) they always lie in wait at obscure junctions, the side of the Bruce highway and school traffic zones. In fact my last ticket was issued in a school zone (40 km/h during school drop off and collection times), which is ironic considering I am in fact a school teacher. And I was racing an equally battered old Holden. Holden and Ford have an age old rivalry in oz - mainly because of the V8 Supercars racing here. The Holden triumphed briefly down the main road through Nambour, only to be caught first by the lurking copper with the speed gun. I was second.

The lady behind the Queensland Transport counter started to 'create' me as a new customer. She looked puzzled at her computer screen for a while before realising my criminal history. "Ah yes, Miss Leeson, we already have you on file". Oops.