New spider policy

Diver Dave and I agree on most things, at the risk of sounding smug in a vomit inducing way. And this week we have agreed on a new policy for dealing with the resident spiders. This was precipitated by our agreed horror on the lingering demise of a large spider that wouldn't go without a fight and a run around the house. The sight of Dave chasing it, wielding a large can of bug spray, successfully hitting it square between many many eyes with not-fast-enough acting poison alternated between the hilarious and the horrendous. It finally expired in my new tupperware bowl. Ick.

We agreed that it's not the spider's fault that it's so big and ugly. It's not their fault that they want a nice dry place to shelter in when it's raining. So our agreed coping mechanism when confronted by the urge to scream hysterically over a fast and hairy intruder, is to apportion a personality to it. You know - bored, sleepy , cross, cold... er... pregnant, etc, although we don't actually go as far as naming them. This might result in some degree of loss if the recipient should be overcome by bug bomb fumes and keel over. But Dave recalled, with a worrying amount of nostalgia, how back in the UK, in his freezing cold workshop, a large spider would pop out to share the heat from the lamp on his workbench, then scuttle away again once the light was switched off. It appears Diver Dave was glad of the company.

Well all this agreement is all well and good, but what about that enormous creature that emerged from behind the bookcase with a vengeance to make a star appearance on the bedroom wall at 2 o'clock this morning? It was only revealed when one of us switched on the light to go to the loo. "Do you want me to get rid of it?" Dave asked sleepily. "No, no, don't worry," I replied, bravely when "YES - PLEEEEEEEEASE!" was what was really going on in my head (why did he not sense the silent screaming?). A few minutes later he switched the light back on, "Just checking it was still there," he reassured me. Aaaarrrgghhh!!!!

Needless to say, I did not sleep very well and that particular uninvited guest's personality so far is "Mom" - a reflection of all the spiderlets we think it is responsible for on our bedroom ceiling. I think we both agree that that's pretty yuk.

We have since also agreed that it is permissable to freak out when, next day, the afore mentioned visitor leaps out at you from a towel that was hanging on the back of the bedroom door as you go for a shower. This naughty spider is now sitting in a flower pot at the bottom of the garden, looking somewhat offended.

Getting up & going to bed in Australia

Last night Diver Dave was already in bed asleep by the time I'd finished watching..er... John Travolta - Inside the Actors' Studio. Well? Could have been worse; could have been Jerry Springer.

Well anyway, as I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I became aware of a lot of hoofing about going on outside the door. Judging correctly that not even the resident spiders could be making THAT much noise, I realised it was some new kind of Diver Dave getting-up-and-going-to-bed-again ceremony. When asked (through the bathroom door) what on earth he was up to, Diver Dave replied, "I'm moving out", followed quickly by "..and I'm taking you with me."

On venturing out of the bathroom, I discovered that he'd moved all our bedding into the spare room. Why? Because one of our resident spiders had left behind a million billion babies on the bedroom ceiling. We think it was probably the one that Dave chased behind the bookcase the other evening, clearly allowing it to have the last laugh.

I was a bit reluctant to leave the lovely room I'd spent days decorating but had no choice once I knew Dave was going to get serious with the bug spray. Bedroom safely evacuated, Dave showed no mercy.

Next morning, I was treated to the sight of Diver Dave leaping around our new-ish garden furniture with the outdoor version of the bug spray; the really mean one that sees off the red backs (although I STILL haven't seen any). Sarong flapping wildly in the breeze, Dave nearly succeeded in eradicating himself before breakfast.

There are still a few spider-icles in the bedroom so Dave says we have to use the Bug Bomb next. Crikey.

When bug bombs go wrong: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20031218-9999_7m18bugs.html

Garden creatures in Australia - don't panic!

Well living in the Noosa 'hinterland', near Eumundi, for the last 2 weeks has been interesting. Being in such close proximity to snakes and lizards and stuff has had to make me adjust somewhat!

Mini lizards are cute and interesting to watch until they suddenly disappear into the waiting mouth of a snake you didn't know was lying under the back step. Fortunately, it was 'only' a green tree snake and, although we eyeballed each other suspiciously, it wasn't very interested and slithered back under the step. And at this present moment I can see what I have convinced myself to be a carpet python right outside my window. I would like it to be a carpet python because they aren't dangerous and only bite people when they have been seriously pissed off. They also, apparently, eat the young of other, more poisonous snakes and ensure your mice and rat population are in the past tense. It has fastened itself to the chain which anchors our bird feeder and pointed itself at the bird seed tray, coiled up and ready to spring. It has been in that position all night so we are speculating whether it has in fact died of starvation and rigamortis has set in. It certainly doesn't seem to mind us taking photos of it. Or maybe it's just lulling us into a false sense of security. Either way, our noisy lorikeets and flappy pigeons are notable by their absence! Shame really as yesterday a beautiful king parrot had a nosey at the bird feeder. A sort of grisly curiosity has got me intrigued as to whether a snake of that girth could actually digest a pigeon. Apparently the thing to do if you're worried about having snakes in the garden is to get a dog. The snakes will be put off by the scent.

We've also discovered what has been making the little holes in the front lawn. Not funnel web spiders, as I first worried about after watching a documentary about Fraser Island! But bandicoots! They look like a cross between a rat and a wallaby, and are about the size of rabbit - very odd. And I thought they were just a Sony invention.

(Non poisonous) Snakes and bandicoots I can cope with. Bugs and spiders I'm not very good with, especially if they are flying or running towards me. Redback spiders are ones to watch out for, although I still haven't clapped eyes on one since Diver Dave's been very pro active with the bug spray. They like to lurk about in exterior wall crevices and garden furniture. Like most things, they will only bite if they're upset and you should get immediate medical attention if you're the victim. Huntsman spiders are BLOODY scary looking (especially if you happen to notice one happily sitting on the sanitary bin next to the toilet that you are sitting on in Noosa National Park!), but they aren't aggressive. In fact one Aussie told me about their 80 year old grandmother who would pick them up and lob them out of the window if she ever found any in the house. Since they are about the size and shape of a tarantula, this is no mean feat. She obviously didn't have any fly screens though.

In the evenings we have literally been bombarded with massive suicidal beetles, jovially named Christmas beetles. They seem to bounce off your windows or head and end up breakdancing for hours while they shuffle off this mortal coil. They aren't engineered very well since they cannot upright themselves once toppled over and die if they aren't up righted straight away. What a stupid design fault. I am looking forward to whatever day of Christmas it is when these beetles cease to be.

Meanwhile, we haven't really had any problems so far with mosquitos. this may be because we have a yellow UV light out on the deck which apparently doesn't attract insects (tell that to the xmas beetles). A top tip the estate agent told me was to make sure you empty the water from the trays of any pot plant after rainfall as the stagnant water will attract the mozzies.

Unfortunately, this week Diver Dave had to dispatch a cane toad right outside our front door. Cane toads are officially a pest in Australia and you are supposed to get rid of them straight away by any means possible to try and stop them spreading, which they are doing anyway in their thousands. It's not really their fault. They can blame the farmers in the 1930s who introduced them to eradicate pests in the cane fields. This exercise failed monumentally and only served to introduce a non native species which is seriously poisonous to other, native species.

We had to consult the world wide interweb to confirm identification first though to make sure we weren't about to eliminate a cute native frog. It certainly didn't look very cute. It looked shifty. When they are croaking, these toads are bleedin obvious. They sound like mini jack hammers. But this one wasn't croaking, probably because it knew it was about to. Diver Dave identified it by its poison sacks on either side of its 'shoulders' and promptly used a rake handle. Yuk.

I will update this post with any further worrying wildlife developments!